It's All Together Now
by okaynextcrisis
Summary: AU. Bill, Laura, and the wedding from hell. No attacks, no cancer...I even spare poor Zak Adama.


_Antidote for my last fic. Title taken from the Patrick and Eugene song. (Remember, right before we all stopped watching Weeds?)_

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**It's All Together Now**

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"That," Laura said, collapsing onto their bed, "was the worst wedding I have ever been to in my entire life."

Bill, already under the covers, nodded wearily. "No question about it."

Laura kicked off her high heels and, still in her formal dress, crawled under the sheets and blankets to join him.

"You can't really blame the couple, though," Bill added thoughtfully, pulling back the covers for her and shifting on the bed to make room. "It was just all those damn _guests_."

"So say we all," Laura muttered, snuggling into Bill's shoulder.

"I think the brawl over dinner was the real low point," he mused aloud, staring at the ceiling.

"That was pretty bad," Laura acknowledged. "But I think we have to lay the blame for that one on the best man spiking the punch."

"That was only because he was trying to impress the bride's younger sister," Bill objected.

"That does _not_ make it better," Laura informed him. "His wife certainly didn't think so."

"No, but I don't think even Saul could have predicted that the bride's assistant would have three glasses and then take a swing at the groom's son when he made a move on his date."

Laura groaned. "Poor Billy."

"I think if we're going to blame anyone," Bill continued, rubbing soothing circles on her back, "it should be Lee. Couldn't he have found _any_ more appropriate time to ask for her number than in the middle of the toast?"

"Perhaps he was moved by the romantic spirit," Laura suggested dryly. "Anyway, maybe he and Dee will get married and give you beautiful grandchildren, and it will all be worth it."

"Us," Bill reminded her. "Give _us_ beautiful grandchildren. And I doubt it. Lee's still—"

"—desperately hung up on Kara," Laura finished. "I think if he hadn't spent the evening watching her drunkenly making out with Sam, he wouldn't have hit Billy _quite_ so hard…"

"Even so, I think having four Secret Service agents leap into the fray might have been a bit of an overreaction," Bill reflected. "Didn't the bride swear up and down that she wasn't going to host a goon squad at her wedding?"

"The President issued a direct order twenty minutes before the ceremony, and it was too late for her to do anything about it," Laura informed him.

"The President would have called in an _air strike_ if he thought he could get her to cancel the wedding," Bill replied.

"I don't think he likes the groom very much," Laura deadpanned.

"I think it's more that he likes the _bride_ very much," Bill grumbled.

Laura's lip quirked. "Still," she said, "if the groom's younger son hadn't actually _tackled_ the agent trying to take down his brother—"

"Poor Zak never could hold his liquor," Bill observed sadly.

"—but then, what's the point of a Cabinet position, if you can't use it to pull rank to avoid having both of your stepsons arrested?" Laura asked philosophically.

Bill winced and pulled her closer. "I think _that_ might have been the low point, Madame Secretary."

"I suppose it could have been worse, Commander," Laura said, pressing a kiss to his neck. "At least we all lived, right?"

"Laura, I was once shot down on a mission and had to eject out of a flaming viper to wait alone in cold, dead space while my oxygen ran down," Bill informed her severely. "_This_ was worse."

Laura giggled. "It's true," she admitted. "I've chaired committee hearings that were more fun. Not to mention a friendlier crowd. What could possibly have made us think that putting your family and my family in the same room together _wouldn't_ end in bloodshed?"

"I hate to break it to you," Bill said into her hair, "but it's _our _family now. Our drunken friends. Our idiot sons."

"I'm not worried," Laura informed him, her voice muffled by his neck. "I have a plan."

"We move far away and don't give out our new address?" Bill suggested.

Laura propped herself up on one elbow to look at him. "No," she said sternly. "We are going to stay here, and stay married, and be deliciously happy, and make them all wildly, painfully, jealous of us."

"Revenge _is_ our only alternative here," Bill said, his serious tone warring with his wide grin.

"You saw how they all behaved," Laura reminded him. "They need to be taught a lesson, or they'll only get worse. Honestly, I don't know how you've survived this long without me."

Delicately, Bill kissed the tip of her nose. "Neither do I," he said. "Promise I won't ever have to again?"

"Wasn't that the whole point of today?" Laura teased.

"No, the whole point of today was you in this dress," Bill informed her. "Everything else was just fuzzy background noise."

Laura smiled. "You're looking pretty spiffy yourself, sir," she said, smoothing down his lapel. "You think I could persuade you to wear these dress grays around the house?"

"I think you could probably manage it," Bill said with a straight face. "But before you try, I am going to go take the phone off the hook."

Laura's smile turned wicked. "Maybe this wedding wasn't so bad, after all."


End file.
